


happier

by glittermerm



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-26 14:58:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15665535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittermerm/pseuds/glittermerm
Summary: you look happier, you do.





	1. Chapter 1

The wind trickles through the trees as Junhoe walks, sending a chill down his spine. He clutches his jacket closer, burying his face in the oversized scarf he has wrapped around himself. He loathed the late autumn chill, preferring the searing heat of summer. He sighs and a white blast of air swirls in front of his face. 

He looks forward to the warmth of his apartment, still far away. He trudges along minding his own business. He stops at a cross walk, and looks up. His heart stops in his chest when his eyes land on him. Every detail is achingly familiar and his heart gives a painful thump. 

Jiwon. 

It’s painful to even think his name. 

Unaware of the lights changing around him, he stands and stares. Jiwon is hand in hand with some girl. She’s beautiful, he can see that from here. She’s just Jiwon’s type. He tries not to think that he too was once his type. 

She says something and Jiwon laughs, his face crinkling into a smile of pure delight. Junhoe wonders when the last time he saw that smile was. Certainly not the last few months they were together. 

They disappear inside the bar and Junhoe stares after them, heartbeat thudding in his ears. He suddenly feels like he’s going to be sick. He crosses the street without checking the lights and hurries away from the sad reminder of his past. 

He ends up at a hole in the wall bar, settling into the darkest corner he can find. He finds himself drunk, surrounded by empty soju bottles. He’s being hauled to his feet and he startled. 

“Chanwoo,” he slurs. “What are you doing here?” He protests his removal weakly, strength gone. 

“You called me, you big idiot,” Chanwoo sighs. He slings Junhoe’s arm over his shoulder, and drags him out of the bar. 

Junhoe doesn’t know how they get home, but suddenly he’s being lowered gently on to his bed. He clings to Chanwoo as he tries to leave. 

“Please don’t go,” he begs, voice slurred and desperate. 

Chanwoo sighs and pulls out of Junhoe’s grip to shrug his jacket off. He drops it on the back of the chair before crawling in next to Junhoe, pulling the covers over both of them. 

“What happened?” he asks gently, pulling Junhoe into his embrace. 

Junhoe buries his face in Chanwoo’s chest and a sob rips through him. Chanwoo holds him tight as Junhoe fists his hands in the material of his shirt, holding on as he falls apart. 

Junhoe’s sobs eventually stop and his breathing slows. Chanwoo almost thinks he’s asleep when he hears Junhoe speak finally. 

“I saw Jiwon,” he whispers. 

“Ah,” Chanwoo answers, brushing Junhoe’s hair off his forehead. “What did he say?” he asks. 

“Nothing,” Junhoe says. “He didn’t see me. He was with his new girlfriend. I saw them on my way home. He looked so much happier than he did when he was with me,” Junhoe chokes out, voice cracking. 

Chanwoo strokes his back soothingly. “I know it hurts Junhoe. You’re allowed to hurt for as long as you need to. But I promise someday you’ll find someone who makes you truly happy,” he says. 

Tears leak from Junhoe’s eyes again. “I was happier when I was with him.”

“No,” Chanwoo says, voice firm. “You were in love. That’s not the same thing. You two were miserable the last few months. It was tearing you both apart. It hurts but it’s the truth.”

Junhoe doesn’t say anything and Chanwoo brushes stray tears away. “You’ll be happy again,” he repeats. “Now sleep,” he says, tucking Junhoe against his chest. Junhoe tries to protest but the crying and alcohol have taken his energy and strength and he falls into an uneasy slumber. 

Sunbeams on his face drag Junhoe back to reality and he groans as his head pounds. He rolls over, for a second expecting to see Jiwon’s sleeping face, before reality crashes down on him again. There won’t be anymore good morning kisses, waking up in each other’s arms, or watching each other sleep. That’s all over now. 

Chanwoo isn’t there either, and Junhoe figures he probably ducked out as soon as he was asleep. He doesn’t blame him. Junhoe is a fucking mess who no one should have to deal with. 

He’s surprised when the door opens and Chanwoo peaks in. “Hey,” he says brightly. “I was just coming to wake you. Come on, I made breakfast,” he beckons Junhoe with a hand. 

Junhoe crawls out of bed and blearily makes his way into the kitchen. There’s a spread of pancakes on the table and Junhoe feels his mouth water, and he remembers he never ate dinner the night before. He throws himself into a chair and begins to scarf them down, pausing only to chug the creamy sugary coffee Chanwoo slides in front of him. 

“Feeling better?” Chanwoo asks awhile later when they’re both done eating. 

“Are you asking about my hangover or Jiwon?” Junhoe asks, standing and beginning to clear the dishes. 

“Whichever you feel like answering,” Chanwoo says with a shrug. 

Junhoe sighs. “He looks happier. I can’t fault him for that, but I’m miserable. I want him to be happy, but I want to be happy too,” he says, dunking his hands in the sudsy water and beginning to wash the dishes. He passes them to Chanwoo who rinses and dries them. 

Chanwoo looks at him, eyes lighting up. “Listen, I know you’re still sad, but I’ve got a friend you might like. He’s been begging me to set him up on a date, so really, you’d be doing me a favor,” he says cheerfully. 

“I don’t know Chanwoo,” Junhoe says, forehead furrowing. “It’s only been a few months.”

“Exactly, it’s been months, you need to get back out there,” Chanwoo prods. 

“Fine,” Junhoe concedes. “One date, but that’s all I’m giving you.”

Chanwoo smiles knowingly.


	2. Chapter 2

Jiwon wakes with a start, memories of warm broad hands pinning him down running through his brain. He sighs and rubs a hand across his face. The other side of the bed moves and a sleepy voice says his name. 

“Jiwon? Are you okay?” she asks, rubbing a hand against his back. 

“Just a dream,” he says. Just a dream. 

“Can I help?” she asks, voice soft. 

“Oh I can think of something you can do,” he smirks and she giggles. 

He pins her down and pushes any other thought away. 

-

Jiwon hates the cold, despises it really. If he had his way he’d spend the whole winter holed up in the studio working on music, or in his apartment playing video games. But she wanted to go on a walk and look at the Christmas lights. So they’re out in the snow. 

Jiwon tries to keep his hand warm in hers, but even with gloves it’s a useless endeavor. She’s enjoying herself, laughing and smiling at the elaborate storefront displays. 

And then out of the corner of his eye he spots a familiar face. His head whips around, seeking him out. And there he is. 

Junhoe. 

The name leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, an odd pain in his chest. He takes in the scene. Junhoe stands outside a cafe, drink in one hand, another man’s hand in his other. 

Junhoe looks… happy. His face is lit up in a way Jiwon hasn’t seen in a long time. He’s laughing at something the other man said, and Jiwon can feel acid eating away at his chest. 

“Jiwon? Babe? You okay?” she asks, and his eyes snap back to her. She cocks her head. “You just zoned out for a solid minute. What’s up?” The concern in her voice sends an odd feeling of guilt piercing into his stomach. 

“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “Just thought I saw someone I knew.” He shrugs, and she tugs on his hand and they start walking again. 

“An old friend?” she asks curiously. 

“More like a ghost,” he says, glancing over his shoulder once more, just in time to see Junhoe lean in for a kiss. He whips his head back around, and pulls her into his side, wrapping his arm around her as they walk. 

Jiwon can’t focus for the rest of the night, lost in his own thoughts. If she notices she doesn’t say anything, leaving him to ponder. He can’t stop thinking about Junhoe and how easily content he looked. He thinks about the last few months they were dating and how nothing he did made Junhor happy. 

He wants to be happy for him, but his heart just hurts too much. 

-

“I’m leaving you, Jiwon,” she says, throwing her things into a bag.

“I don’t understand why. Isn’t what we have good?” he protests. “Don’t I make you happy?”

“I was happy, Jiwon. I really was.” She stops packing to look at him, unshed tears in her eyes. 

“We were happy but lately I don’t know who you are. You’re so distant. You don’t talk to me, you don’t even kiss me anymore,” she says throwing her hands in the air. “I can’t do this any more,” she says, tears trickling down her cheek, dripping off her chin. 

“Babe,” he says, moving towards her to comfort her. She shakes her head. 

“We can make this work,” he says. 

“No Jiwon, we can’t,” she answers. 

And like that, Jiwon is alone again. 

-

He dreams of Junhoe again. He can see him vividly. Every detail of his face in pure HD. It’s a summer day, they had spent the day at the beach until they were tanned and had fallen sun tired into their sheets as soon as they had gotten home. 

Junhoe had pinned him to the bed, kissed him soft and slow, melting Jiwon’s brain. Jiwon had kissed him back, desperate and hungry, nipping and bitin until Junhoe was rock hard against him, riding his thigh until he came in his boxers. He’d blown Jiwon after that in retaliation, fast and sloppy until Jiwon spilled down his throat, fingers grasping the sheets. 

They’d collapsed into the bed after that, dozing, fingers laced and happy smiles in place. 

When Jiwon wakes this time, he finds the bed empty but for himself, and the tears on his cheek. 

They had been happy once, and in the midnight silence of his bedroom, he would do anything to get it back.


	3. Chapter 3

It happens by accident. Jiwon is browsing the produce section, eyes intently browsing the lettuce, when his hand brushes someone else’s.

“Oh, sorry,” he exclaims, pulling his hand back. 

“It’s okay,” a deep voice says. 

They look up at the same time, shock on both their faces as they lock eyes. 

“Junhoe,” he says, surprised. His heart gives a painful jump. 

“Jiwon,” Junhoe answers, eyebrows raised. His heart does the same. 

“I didn’t expect to run into you here, sorry.” His voice comes out quiet. 

Junhoe shifts uncomfortably. “Yeah, well,” he trails off. 

“June-yah,” a voice calls. “There you are, I thought I lost you.” The speaker is another man, a good several inches shorter than Junhoe. Jiwon realizes with a start it’s the same man he’d seen Junhoe with at Christmastime. 

The man wraps an arm around Junhoe’s waist, and cocks his head as he takes Jiwon in. “Who’s this?” he asks. 

Junhoe opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, but no sound comes out. 

“Kim Jiwon, I’m an old friend,” Jiwon says, sticking his hand out. The man beams at him and shakes his hand. 

“June’s never mentioned you,” he says, shoving Junhoe playfully. 

“Well it’s been a long while since we ran into each other,” Jiwon says with a pained smile. “Anyway, I need to get going. It was good to see you Junhoe, and nice to meet you.”

He scurries off and doesn’t stop until he’s several aisles away. His heart is thumping loudly in his chest. He presses his hands against his burning eyes and sighs. He quickly grabs the last few things he needs and checks out. 

He makes it to his car before the tears hit him. 

-

Junhoe fiddles with his phone. It’s late, and he’s alone in bed. All night he hadn’t been able to get seeing Jiwon off his mind. It had taken him by such surprise. Though maybe it shouldn’t have. He knows where Jiwon lives, where he shops. It just hadn’t occurred to him, with as long as they’d been apart. 

He opens his phone again, pulls up Jiwon’s contact. He types a message and quickly deletes it. He does this a couple more times before finally hitting send. 

[23:15] Junhoe: It was good to see you today. You looked well. 

The reply comes quicker than expected. 

[23:16] Jiwon: You too, Junhoe. You look happy. 

Junhoe debates before answering. 

[23:22] Junhoe: I am. And I hope you are too.   
[23:23] Jiwon: Be happy, June. 

Junhoe doesn’t know why but he finds tears leaking down his cheeks. He roughly wipes them away, plugging his phone in and setting it aside. He knows Jiwon well enough to see through his non answer. 

He can tell Jiwon isn’t happy and it hurts him. He shouldn’t care anymore, but he does. It’s Jiwon’s face he sees when he falls asleep, when he wakes up. He daydreams of their days together. He thinks of the girl he saw Jiwon with, so many months ago. He wonders what happened to her. Did she break his heart, the way Junhoe had?

Junhoe falls back against his pillows. It’s not fair of him, to keep his relationship going when he’s not over Jiwon. It’s not right. He’s dating a good guy who deserves someone who’s truly into him. 

-

“I think we should break up.”

Junhoe looks up in surprise at the sudden words. He’s about to protest when he realizes he doesn’t actually object. 

“You’re right,” he says. Their eyes meet, and they smile sadly. They share a hug and a kiss goodbye, and that’s it. 

Junhoe feels a little sad, but he feels more free than anything, like a weight has been lifted off him. It had been nice to have a warm body in his bed, but really, it had never been the body he was dreaming of. 

-

Weeks pass and Jiwon is always on his mind. He keeps picking up his phone, typing a message and deleting it. He sighs as he does this for the fifth time today. 

“Enough,” Chanwoo snaps, snatching the phone out of Junhoe’s hand. Junhoe glares at him, but Chanwoo doesn’t flinch. 

“What are you doing?” Junhoe asks. 

“What you won’t,” Chanwoo says, typing rapidly before handing the phone back. Junhoe anxiously opens his messages. 

[13:15] Junhoe: Hey Jiwon, I was wondering if you want to get a coffee or something?

“Chanwoo!” Junhoe protests. 

Chanwoo just shrugs. “You were being a baby and I was sick of it quite frankly,” he says, voice lacking any apology. 

The phone buzzes and Junhoe jumps. Chanwoo laughs. 

[13:18] Jiwon: Sure, but since when do you like coffee?  
[13:18] Junhoe: I don’t, Chanwoo sent that.   
[13:19] Jiwon: Oh…

Junhoe can sense the disappointment and he sighs. He’s about to make what’s probably a very big mistake. 

[13:21] Junhoe: I wouldn’t say no to dinner though

There’s no reply and Junhoe frowns, wondering if this is going to be his closure. 

Finally, his phone buzzes. 

[13:26] Jiwon: come over, I’ll order shitty Chinese and we’ll watch dumb movies like we used to.   
[13:27] Junhoe: when?  
[13:27] Jiwon: Now, dumbass. 

“You look pretty happy over there,” Chanwoo says over the top of his cup. 

Oh that’s right, Chanwoo is here. 

“Oh shit, let me reschedule with Jiwon,” he says, fingers fumbling with his phone. 

“No,” Chanwoo says. “Please don’t,” I can’t stand your moping for another day. Please go get laid,” he says, standing up. 

Junhoe splutters. “It’s just dinner!”

“Sure it is,” Chanwoo says, waving over his shoulder on his way out. 

Junhoe spends the next half hour fretting over what to wear before settling on skinny jeans and a black hoodie he knows Jiwon loves to steal. 

Anxiety knots in his stomach as he makes his way to Jiwon’s place. He wonders if this is a mistake, and thinks back to the hectic end of their relationship, almost a year ago. 

There’s not a lot of time to dwell as Jiwon’s apartment building suddenly looms in front of him. He chews on his lip as he pushes the button for Jiwon’s apartment and is buzzed in. 

He trudged up the familiar staircase to the third floor. There had been a time he’d practically lived here, rarely spending more than a few hours in his own apartment. 

He knocks tentatively on the door and it flies open almost at once. Jiwon’s beaming smile takes him by surprise and his heart beats frantically in his chest, instinct making him move forward into Bobby’s space, mouths making contact. 

Bobby melts into it immediately and Junhoe clings to him for dear life, scared this might be a dream he’ll wake up from. 

“Hey, hey, breathe,” Jiwon says pulling away, reading the anxiety radiating through Junhoe’s body. He wraps his arms around Junhoe and pulls him close. Junhoe buries his face in the crook of Jiwon’s neck and sighs at the familiar scent of his Jiwon. 

Jiwon steers him towards the couch. “Eat first, talk later,” he says, pushing Junhoe onto the couch and disappearing into the kitchen. He returns with his arms full of takeout containers and Junhoe can’t help but laugh. Jiwon never did have any self control when it came to Chinese food. 

They eat in silence, Jiwon facing the tv and Junhoe facing Jiwon, his tower wriggled under Jiwon’s leg. When they’re finished Jiwon turns to him and crawls in his lap. He presses their foreheads together. 

“I fucking missed you,” he admits. Junhoe strokes the side of Jiwon’s face. 

“I missed you too. And I’m sorry for how awful I was those last few months,” he says, hands settling on Jiwon’s hips. 

Jiwon shakes his head. “You weren’t,” he says. “You were busy and stressed at work and I refused to be understanding or bend at all.”

Junhoe opens his mouth to argue but Jiwon shushes him, a finger on his lips. Junhoe resists the urge to suck the finger into his mouth. 

“Let’s just admit that neither of us was very nice to each other and start over, deal?” Jiwon asks. 

Junhoe nods. “Hi, I’m Junhoe, and I think you’re super cute.”

“Hi Junhoe,” Jiwon smiles. “I’m Jiwon and I’m going to kiss you now.” He leans in, capturing Junhoe’s lips in a passionate kiss. 

And hours later when they’re sleepily cuddling in Jiwon’s bed, Junhoe thinks that he’s never been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! The ending is finally here! And you all thought I would leave you with sad Junbob ;)
> 
> follow me on twitter at my new @ @chanwo00

**Author's Note:**

> hello, tiny fic here to fill in the sunday gap while i work on halcyon!
> 
> @noahindaeyo


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